I was almost left outside of the terminal at 00:30 because I lacked any papers of my flight what so ever.
Security guard infront of the gates of terminal 2:
"Su tarjeta de embarque por favor."
"...............No tengo."
"No tarjeta, no pasar."
"Pero.. no tengo."
"No puede pasar. Abiertan en las seis."
At this point I thought that I was in deep shit. I was trying to recall whether it had been ever necessary print out any forms (disregarding Ryanair's flights) or was a passport just fine to be able to check in. I began to panic that I would not get home. Or that I would have to wait outside the terminal for 5,5 hours..........
"Estás sola?"
"Sí.."
"Ok, pasa"
"MUCHOS GRACIAS."
I think the security guard realized I wouldn't be well off on my own with all my luggage and no where to go to (except terminal 1), waiting outside in the dark for the clock to struck six.
There was no way I was going to risk missing my flight (again) so sleeping was not an option. So I purchased 24 h wifi with 10 euros and pretty much made a camp in one corner. I sat in that very same place for 7 hours... Holy fuck. Thank god my friends have insomnia and Hector was on facebook to keep me company. Later on I saw Jared online and we skyped for half an hour!!! Man do I miss him so incredibly much. He is one of my all time favourite people I met in Australia and I still keep in contact with him. It was so good to see his face and hear his voice and I wished I could've just jumped through the screen to Darwin and hang out with him and hug him ! Jared's the best. We reminisced about good times... That very first night Melanie introduced me and Laura to Ian and Jared and we met crazy Wolf man. On that same night me and Jared got peed on by Melanie (!!! EPIC!!!)... We also thought about Magnetic Island and Airlie along other stuff. Damn. If only Jared would be going to Indonesia in December instead of September.
After skyping with Jared and reading one message on fb that wasn't reall the most pleasant one, I started feeling a bit anxious about going back. I am pretty sure it's the sleep deprivation that's talking, but I just really started doubting my purpose in my life back home. It felt a bit like in January, when I was returning home from my four month trip - returning to nothing (no school, no job etc). I tried to remind myself that it was just an illusion because I have everything going on for me back home - I'll be working non stop in August, i'll be volunteer working at this festival and getting free tickets to it, i'm gonna start going to the gym again and school is about to start in late August. But somehow just knowing, that I would go back to Finland with the mentality of saving up again so I could get away go traveling again felt a bit depressing. It feels crazy to have this strong urge of wanting to get away...
Don't I really have anything in Finland that would make a difference to keep me from wanting to leave home again ?
That's the issue I've been resteling with on this trip. Am I really happy in Finland? Do I really wanna live there? Meeting Finnish people abroad is always such a dull reminder of how things are back home - everyone is just so "jäinen". No one can keep up a conversation (unless they are drunk) and although I would be the one that is trying to spark up the convo, the other participate just lacks the skills to maintain it. And talk about Finnish men. Oh God. Don't even get me started. When I came home from Morocco I had decided to stay back in Finland to study, because I had a lot of shit going on and I knew I wouldn't have been able to cope on my own in a foreing country without my safety net. But now that I feel like i'm over those dark times, I feel like there's really no reason why I should stay home, in Finland.
The only reason why I would consider living and studying in Finland is that uni is free and I can make a lot more money -so I can go traveling again- in my country compared to most of the countries. Unless we are talking about Australia with a minimum wage of $18.5 per hour. Jared actually just told me that he gets $20 an hour but with tips $30.. He said he worked yesterday for 5,5 hours and made _150_ dollars. But yeah. The uni isn't free in Australia... It's pretty much the opposite, at least the ones I looked at some two years ago.
Yeah. I don't really know... I've been planning I should at least do an exchange year after this one. That would give me one year in Finland, second one in exchange and the third one in one of the partner universities abroad (in Madrid I hope!). The final year, the fourth one, has a work practice term of five months, and it is recommended to do abroad - which I would totally do of course. So I would only be in Finalnd for some 1,5 years or so. Unless they wouldn't recognise my studies on my exchange year. I think I wanna go visit CIMO - the place where they took us in high school. Maybe they would be able to sort my life out a bit for myself.
But I must say. When I was surfing in Portugal, I just felt so happy. "This is what I wanna do in my spare time", I thought to myself for the tenth time. And surfing is not something you can do in Finland (unless you are totally passionate, crazy and ridiculous).
We'll see.
Ps. I've just been so happy during these past five weeks that I don't want it to go away.
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